How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
