Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
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We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
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We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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