I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
