i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
whose parrot is this?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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