so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
