Sry I called you an 8
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
