You really coming over, don't trick.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
