i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
My cat gives me a boner
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
