I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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