so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
