does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Randomize
