dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize