question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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