OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
