theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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