did you get engaged???
false alarm. still invincible.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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