I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
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I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
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Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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