Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
