There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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