the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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