From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize