And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
