He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
