why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I cockslap morals
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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