saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
