I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Four minutes until I can fart!
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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