Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
