Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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