Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
