please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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