Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
