barbara walters just said penis...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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