The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
