'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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