I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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