what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
