i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I party with great urgency now.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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