Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize