I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize