Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
