i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
