dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize