i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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