i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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