i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize
