I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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