Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
