i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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