Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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