I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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