Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The dick lei will go down in squad history
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
