Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
