if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
