do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
