did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
