she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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