I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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