on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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