Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
