Are we in a gay sports bar?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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