So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i would punch a child for taco bell
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
where does the pee come out of this thing
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
My feet surprised me
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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