if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
