can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You need a sexual gate keeper
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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