do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
